Sunday, August 23, 2009

My Ride Home

I've spent a lot of time thinking. I spent a lot of time thinking tonight.

I guess not being a full-time college student anymore- finally having the chance to do the things I've always wanted to do, kind of gives me the opportunity to figure things out. I do this a lot, try to figure things out. I think too much.

I've always had everything I wanted. I've always been given everything I want, everything I need, and everything I don't. Not everybody drives a brand new truck, has a house at 22, can be successful at his job, prosperous and happy, and not everyone has healthy lungs, working arms and legs, and a strong heart. Sometimes I'm ungrateful.

I think about that a lot. What am I going to do with all those things? Some people who have less, much less, do far greater things, and me, with all that I have been bless-fully given, have so much to give. How can I give?

I don't think everyone really thinks about their purpose, or why they are living and breathing; why they wake up every morning and carry on their lives day in and day out. It's sometimes thoughtless process driven by urge and necessity.

I've come so far, yet I know I have so much more to learn and so much more to do. So many more lives to touch, to change, and to help. It's hard to figure it out sometimes. When things are truly good, when they're not, when to stand by someone, when to leave, when to move on with your life, and when to say "hey, I just can't- not yet." Maybe not ever.

What's this all mean? I'm not so sure, but tonight on my drive home, I thought about it all. I'll think about it tomorrow, and I'll think about it forever. Maybe someday I'll be judged, or maybe someday I'll die and just be gone, proving those scientists right who say that when you're dead, you're dead. maybe I'll be reincarnated, go to heaven and visit lost friends and family, and those I never met.

I just know, that whatever the case may be, I don't want to ever be forgotten.

"Even when you don't know that people are watching you."

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