Monday, February 9, 2009
"The only thing permanent is change"
There's been a lot of changes for me lately. I've got really good grades (not that that's a change, but it's something going well), I'm finally in my fraternity and not a pledge, my relationships with certain people are going well, and I've got a pretty good balance with my fitness, work, school, and social life.
It's just crazy how life works; one day you're stressed, you hate it and don't want to wake up in the morning, and the next everything seems to go according to plan. I feel excited about a lot of things, things coming up and things farther down the road. I'm starting to think about a career and grad school and I actually have a lot of great options to consider.
I've made some of my best friends here at this school, it's been a great semester thus far. Last semester was one I'll never forget.
I think there's a time in life where you're just suddenly happy with who you are. You accept the negative things about you, like the fact that you always procrastinate, can't wake up in the morning, or are terrible at bowling, because they're like mini-battles that you fight every day. You also begin to embrace your good qualities, like being a good friend, always doing your reading homework, or being able to cheer someone up when they're having a bad day. I think that when you can recognize both your own good and bad qualities, you can get through your own good and bad time s a little easier. I feel bad for those without confidence; as lame as it sounds, if you don't love yourself, you can't love another person. If you're confident you can bounce back from anything- rejection, "failure," or any other type of tragedy.
I don't want to write too much about my relationship with the opposite sex, but I would like to say that when you find something good, it's crazy how it makes you feel. It's like no matter what happens I can't stop smiling and I feel and look stupid all the time. I'm really bad at dating and relationships with girls, and have never really been in anything too serious. I've got all these "guy" questions that I wish someone would answer for me but feel dumb asking, like when should I call, or should I hold her hand, or how do I know what she's thinking... or when is it okay to give a goodbye kiss. It all sounds lame, but I'm pretty sure every guy asks these questions. This is probably the first time in my life I've felt both really good and really awkward about something. I both hate it and love it- ha ha
Enough of this stuff, I'm going to bed.